Who Is Afraid of Romantic Relationships? Relationship Fears and Their Connection with Personal Values and Socio-Demographic Variables

This study investigates the fears of romantic relationships. Based on Schwartz’s theory of values, we built a comprehensive inventory of the fears that young people seeking romantic relationships may experience. We tested the fears’ structure and the connections with personal values and socio-demographic variables. The study was conducted in Israel using a community sample of young Jews and Palestinians without romantic partners (n = 1083, 57% female, age 18–30). We discovered ten basic fears clustered into three groups (concerns). The ineptitude concern combines two fears: failing one’s partner’s expectations and failing expectations of one’s relatives and friends. The subjugation concern combines four fears: loss of independence, boredom, sexual frustration, and thwarting one’s achievements. Finally, the abuse concern combines four fears: losing control over one’s resources, being hurt physically or sexually, harming relationships with one’s relatives and friends, and being accused of inappropriate behavior. The ranking of concerns was identical among men and women, with ineptitude being the strongest concern, followed by subjugation and abuse. The ineptitude concern was associated with a higher preference for self-transcendence vs. self-enhancement values. The subjugation concern was associated with higher preferences for openness to change vs. conservation and self-enhancement vs. self-transcendence values. The abuse concern was associated with a higher preference for conservation vs. openness to change values. The ineptitude concern was stronger among younger ages, females, and Jews. The subjugation concern was stronger among older ages, males, and less religious people. Finally, the abuse concern was stronger among younger ages, males, religious people, and Palestinian Israelis. Socio-demographic variables affected relationship concerns directly and indirectly through their connection with personal values. The present study advances the theory of values connecting context-specific and general motivations. The results obtained will be helpful in youth counseling to promote satisfactory decisions regarding romantic relationships.