Being a Surrogate Partner: The Challenges of Fragile Boundaries

Surrogate partner therapy is a type of treatment in which the surrogate partner (SP) works in a triadic setting with a sex therapist and a patient. At the same time, the SP acts as an intimate surrogate partner to the patient. The SP treatment includes a range of therapeutic experiences such as relaxation, intimate communication, sensual and sexual contact, and training for the acquisition of social skills. In the current study, we ask what and how SPs experience, understand, and construct boundaries in their work. We used Winnicott’s therapeutic conceptualization of psychotherapy as a mode of playing and Goffman's dramaturgical role theory as the theoretical framework for our exploration. Applying a phenomenological and empathic approach, we analyzed 13 in-depth interviews with Israeli SP. It appears that SP’s transitions from one performance to another are dramatic, in that their role requires the involvement of sexual and emotional helping relations with their patients. Moreover, SPs are obliged to have secrecy at all levels and in various relationships in their lives. We uncovered various complexities that SPs experience, such as a lack of clarity about their role, which creates challenges for building their professional and personal identity and affects their family and social relationships.